Cory's Eastern Kentucky Colonels Recruiting Manager Dynasty [Archive] - NCAA Football 09 & NCAA Basketball 09 at ncaa Strategies

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Cory
12-05-2005, 06:29 PM
Somewhere in the United States of America...

1:00 PM - This was another typical saturday afternoon for Haywood Hopkins, waking up past 12 and having no recollection of what he did the prior night. He sat up on his bed and looked around his room to make sure he was actually in his own apartment. Sure enough, he was in his apartment, so he walked out in his bathrobe to cook himself a hangover omelet. He walked outside and was suddenly blinded by the nuisance known as the sun, but that didn't stop him from collecting the two weeks worth of newspaper and mail he forgot to pick up. He threw the mail on the counter and began sorting through the bills, letters, and magazines. One letter, however, jumped out at him...

FREE BOOZE.
RICHMOND, KENTUCKY.
KEGS, DRUGS, EASY WOMEN.
5:00 PM. SATURDAY.
521 Lancaster Avenue :: Richmond, KY 40475


Haywood instantly got giddy at the thought of going, but he still had the problem of actually getting there. Conventiently, he was at his residence in Tennessee, so the trip would not be that difficult. He thought about the fact that he hasn't ever heard of Richmond, Kentucky, but that didn't matter to Haywood. Fresh off of being fired from Ball Sate, he needed some time and some alcohol to remediate the issues caused by his lack of employment. He took a quick shower, grabbed a drink and some snacks and walked to his car. He hit the open road around 2:00 PM, setting out to take Richmond by storm.

To be continued...no seriously, this one will actually continued.

WhoUTestin
12-05-2005, 07:03 PM
Don't let me down, Cory. I am looking forward to this

Wufpack
12-05-2005, 07:08 PM
Sweet. Please go through with this one, man.

Cory
12-05-2005, 08:51 PM
5:15 PM - Haywood had now entered Richmond city limits, actually, let's call them Richmond boonie-ass-backwards-small-town limits. The town's population hovered around 25,000 and it seemed besides molesting cows and reliving your fondest Civil War memories, there was not much to do. He searched for Lancaster avenue, and once he found it he sped down the winding road. He pulled up to a building that looked very little like a party with free booze, loose women, and drugs. He peered off to his left, where he saw a sign that read Eastern Kentucky University: Yeah, we didn't know we existed either. Before he could collect his thoughts, a middle-aged man with a horrendous comb-over greeted Haywood.

J.B. Fringle: Howdy there Haywoord! How ya' doin' there big guy? Welcome to our lovely little town!

Haywood Hopkins: Yeah, it's cute...where is the party?

Fringle: Aww shucks there big guy! There aint't no FEE-ES-TAH...our head football coach is fixin' to meet with you! Somethin' 'bout rumblin', stumblin', tacklin', jus' like and old cowboy yeehaw!

Hopkins: ...right...I have a live animal in my car, and I was wondering you know, if I could kind of keep him in there. I hear putting a lamb on meth and leaving him in a hot car is not the best idea...

J.B. Fringle led Haywood to the athletic complexes, and to say the least, Haywood was underwhelmed. Compared to Ball State, this place looked like a high school team, and that is saying a lot. Haywood was greeted by an younger man in front of the Keiser Complex, a complex full of coaches offices and board rooms. It also hosted the weight room and the various teams hang-out areas.

Yancy Green: Hello there Haywood Hopkins. It's a pleasure to meet you...

Haywood Hopkins: Yeah, um, boobs...tits...booze...

Green: Let me lead you to my office...I have an interesting proposition for you.

Yancy led Haywood into his office, and it looked more like a closet than an office. The wall was decorated with photos of the football teams various losses, and the trophy case was noticably empty. Haywood sat in a chair and Yancy promptly followed. He leaned across his desk.

Green: Look man, I am FUCKED. I have been here for five fucking years and I have won 2 games. One was against some...I don't know midgets. Mexico City maybe? Yeah, them. I need you Haywood. More than you will ever need me. I know you can recruit...no one ever will come here. This place is a SHITHOLE. I use an OUTHOUSE for crying out loud...

Hopkins:...anal sex...cocaine...llama...tits...

Green: Haywood...I need you to become my recruiting coordinator. I need you to get players here that will help me win...you can also coach a little too. People love you man, they fucking love you. You're like the college dropout that people love because you can still pound more beers than an elephant.

Hopkins: ...vagina...state government...blackjack...falluptious melons

Green: Okay, let's cut the bullshit and get right down to the facts. I am willing to give you a handsome paycheck to work for EKU. You have complete control...do whatever you want. You can buy a car, you can even not show up to work...you could have a party with strippers and debaucher--

Hopkins: DONE! Wheres my contract.

Hopkins signed his name on the dotted line and shook Yancy's hand. From this day forward, Haywood was managing EKU's recruiting. This could go really well or really sour for EKU...

Madcat
12-05-2005, 09:38 PM
You've probably just doubled the dynasty section's veiwership with your return, Cory. :)

Sounds like an easy enough project for Haywood to stick with. ;)

FieldingBLUE
12-05-2005, 11:19 PM
Haywood certainly has found some fine working conditions. Go Kernels, er, Colonels! :)

Cory
12-08-2005, 10:35 PM
Glad to have some readers again :p

Anyway, I like this slow pace...I'm not getting burnt out.

dawg_gone
12-09-2005, 12:01 AM
Yeah, I am definitely looking forward to it. Let's go get some recruits.